Why am I the Only Bloke?
by CutewithAcapital-Q
Summary: Ever wonder what really happened in McGonagall's office the night before the second task? Well this is it right here! A fun little missing moment from Ron and Hermione's POV! Have fun!


Fan Fiction-Why am I the only bloke?

Disclaimer: I own nothing, although if anyone knows where I can get a Ron tell me in the review I know you'll all be ecstatic to make!!

Ron's Version of the story:

"So," Ron began his tale again, thinking about which details to leave, takeout or elaborate more on this time around, as more listeners joined the fray.

"Hermione and I were walking alone in the corridor. We turned the corner and Bam! We see them! Cho Chang and Fleur's kid sister are surrounded by merpeople. Somehow they'd grown disgusting grotesque pimply legs from where their fins once were. Immediately we ran to help. Cho was doing her best to ward them off, but there were too many for her to handle alone, stunning spells went flying as they approached nearer and nearer. So they took Hermione first—"

"Why do I get taken first?" Hermione interrupted, rather insulted by the part she held in Ron's fabrication of the day.

"I don't know Hermione, you tell me you were there." Ron shot back through gritted teeth, as his credibility slipped away. Hermione rolled her eyes and went back to ignoring Ron and his groupies. It wasn't worth it to make the argument.

"So where was I, oh yeah, Hermione was taken. Cho ran to try to save her but, then she left the girl unprotected and they quickly grabbed her too, as the group took her in she screamed bloody murder," he paused for effect, "I would have saved her," he then said in a huskier voice that made Hermione suppress her gag-reflex, "But they seemed to be multiplying by the dozens and before I knew it those merfreaks had taken Cho too. I knew I could have probably fought my way through them but then suddenly they sprung into the air and backed me into the corner and snatched my wand, out of my incredibly strong grip," this made Hermione loose all control and her head fell down to the table she was reading at and her shoulders shrugged up and down in stifled giggles, "SO," Ron still had to give his last spine-shivering line, "with no other alternative but to let them take me."

Hermione had calmed down and was once again slightly resentful at the serious attention Ron was getting for his story telling abilities. A part of her would like to crusade the truth and call Ron on his fib, of course as much as she dislikes Ron's fraudulent hold over the lime light, she held higher contempt for the attention she was receiving for being Krum's lost person. Since it was extremely likely one of Ron's listeners would bring up this lovely detail, Hermione wasn't going to bother.

After all, while Ron was being really obnoxious, they were still friends, and Hermione knew this was a nice change for him, and so she humored him. But personally Hermione thought, with a smirk, the truth was just as much an entertaining story as Ron's interpretation. Just as Hermione was contemplating Ron's new found popularity, his group dispersed and he wandered over to the chair next to hers.

"What?" he questioned her amusement.

"I was just thinking, you must have told that story so many different ways you probably don't even remember what_ really_ happened." Hermione's smirk widened.

"I do too," Ron pawed her shoulder, "Shut up, before one of the girls hears you."

"Git," Hermione rolled her eyes, and they both quietly set their minds back to that night's events those so few days ago.

…."Who on earth wants to grow their nose hairs into ringlets!?"

"I wouldn't mind," Fred interrupted them suddenly, "Be a talking point wouldn't it?"

Harry, Ron, and Hermione turned at the voice to a see the twins coming out from around the bookshelves

"What are you doing here?" Ron said, having trouble focusing on his brother's identical heads of red hair, after spending an hour reading the smallest of texts in the book they had found.

"Looking for you," George informed them, "McGonagall wants you, Ron," he stopped and gave a small grin, as if in amusement of whatever he was thinking, "And you and, Hermione."

'That must have been it,' Ron mentally nodded to himself, as he saw Hermione become frazzled with anxiety.

"Why."

"Dunno, but she was looking a bit grim, though," Fred was now having immense fun as Hermione's eyes widened.

"We're supposed to take you down to her office," George said.

"Ron and Hermione immediately looked to Harry, as if needing to be excused, but he only seemed preoccupied with fear.

"We'll meet you back at the common room," Hermione said, getting up with Ron and collecting their things to go with the twins, "Bring back as many books as you can," She instructed carefully before retreating from view with the three Weasleys.

Once out of Harry's sight, the anxious look in Ron's eyes over took his entire visage.

"This isn't good, Hermione," he said, running his hand through his hair, "She's going to tell us off for helping him. McGonagall loves to win, but she's a real sword in a boulder about rule breaking."

"Well someone has to be," Hermione muttered.

"Hermione this is no time for jokes." Ron scolded, "She's going to bust our heads together, we're getting detentions, Harry's going to drown tomorrow and what's worst Krum's going to win the tournament!"

'And he thinks I need my priorities set straight!' Hermione glared at him in thought. Ron continued to wrack his brain for any other 'terrible' consequences.

"Ron don't be stupid," she tried to convince him, and a small part of herself, "She's probably calling us in about extra credit work or a missing test grade."

"Or maybe she's just as damn tired of watching these love birds bicker after four years," George muttered only with in ear shot of Fred, who snickered.

"What?" Hermione snapped indignantly.

"Hermione seriously what the hell kind of chance is there that she chooses tonight to ask us for a chat about our grades?"

"Well, I'm just thinking of every possibility, would you rather be expelled for cheating with Harry!" she yelled hysterically.

"EXPELLED!?" Ron's face paled in new terror, "Who said anything about being expelled!?"

"You know that has happened before," George said, winking so only Fred could see.

"Yeah, some bloke years ago, before it was canceled," Fred picked up George's aim and continued, "They caught him tinkering with the tournament. They snapped his wand."

"Family completely disowned him," George added loudly toward Ron.

"Lived off the streets, a _poor, forgotten nobody._" Fred shook his head in shame.

"Well good luck!" they said in off beat unison of cheerfulness, as they ushered the two thoroughly horrified fourth years to the door of the transfigurations classroom.

"You're late," McGonagall's stern voice echoed in the classroom. Ron and Hermione looked up nervously, surprised they saw that they weren't quite alone like they thought. McGonagall sat in a desk in the front row, turned in the seat to face them. Professor Dumbledore was standing dutifully behind the teacher's desk, and two other students were standing before him. They turned to the new comers as well, Ron and Hermione immediately recognized the taller of the two as Cho Chang. The second, Ron had a strong hunch she was some how related to Fleur, because, being perfectly frank she was a 4'8" replica of the half Veela.

"Come in, come in," Dumbledore entreated them, "We have much to discuss. Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger, you already know Cho Chang of Ravenclaw, and this is Gabrielle Delacour, of Beaux Baton. With Introductions out of the way lets move on to the reason we've called you here tonight. As you well know, the second task is to take place tomorrow morning. And you four are here on a serious matter."

"Alright what's the punishment?" Ron cracked unable to handle the suspense.

"Punishment?" Dumbledore repeated bemused.

"You know, for hel—OUCH!" Ron began to explain himself but was caught off guard by a sharp pinch on his bottom.

"He meant it as a joke!" Hermione corrected with a shaky laugh, as she slipped her wand back into her robes.

"Ah, ha, ha, yes, yes of course," the old Professor softly chuckled, but it seemed more like it was to what she was hiding instead of her actually statement.

"Well, this is certainly no punishment Mr. Weasley. You have all been selected to participate in tomorrow's task!"

"You mean we'll be working along side the champions?" Cho's eye brows rose.

"In a sense," the white bearded professor weighed his answer carefully, "You'll be acting as the champion's motivation, shall we say."

"Albus, it's best I think that we don't beat around the bush," McGonagall advised the Head master.

"Yes, yes, alright, all of you may have noticed that each of you is in some way in close relation to at least one of the champions. The tomorrow challenge, if you aren't aware, is with in the hour the champions must go into the lake and retrieve what the merpeople have taken-"

"Yeah, what is that going to be," Ron interrupted, thinking out loud, "Is that what you need us for are we picking what's taken?"

"You're close, Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore smiled genuinely, walking around the desk and moving toward Ron, "No, We've already chosen what's to be taken," he was now standing right in front of the boy, "And I'll tell you, that in Mr. Potter's case, his missing item is something that he truly could not manage with out…" Dumbledore put a wizen hand on Ron's shoulder, and his serene smile made his eyes twinkled.

"So, what?" Ron asked lamely, "…Like his glasses?"

"Ron!!" Hermione slapped him on the other shoulder, "He's talking about YOU!"

"Oh!" the statement quickly dawned on him with a little pride, and then his face fell once more with fear, "WAIT YOU'RE TAKING US!!"

"What?" piped up the small French girl, with a frightened pout on her face.

"Don't be alarmed," Dumbledore brought order back to the small crowd, "I've discussed it with the officials, and the merpeople of the lake. It's very simple you'll be put under a powerful sleeping charm and the merpeople will take you to the decided location, where tomorrow your respective champions will hopefully find you!"

"Hopefully?!" Ron's voice cracked.

"In the unlikely event your respective champions return to the surface without you the merpeople will escort you to the surface, and see to it that you won't be harmed while in their care. I'll be performing the sleeping spell, you'll be unconscious the whole time underwater, and you will wake up when you break the surface of the water." Dumbledore corrected himself quickly, "Mr. Weasley if there was anything that I saw unfit to your safety we would not be here discussing this. So are there anymore questions?"

Ron, content with Dumbledore's plan, looked to see if any of the girls had a question. Then he realized something and raised his own hand.

"Mr. Weasley?"

"Why am I the only bloke?"

"What?!" Hermione questioned the simple stupidity of this question.

"An excellent query Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore congratulated Ron. Ron looked smugly over to Hermione.

"Well, you see, ever since the tournament's establishment, it's always been something of a tradition that the second task include the champions' peers and loved ones, sort of raised the stakes and it made the schools feel made involved in the competitions," Dumbledore explained, "it was also the original reason for the Yule Ball," He added the fun little fact avidly.

"The ball's a set-up?" Ron simplified what the professor was saying, "So why isn't Pavariti here, or Davies?"

"The Ball _was_ a set-up Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore clarified, "Some years after the event began, there was a terrible tragedy…" He shook his head mourning, "well, method of choosing, and the laws of wizard tug of war were changed after that," Dumbledore paused in reflection as the rest of group simply gaped, "Now we use the Ball as guidelines to lead us to the choices. Now you see, Miss Delacour may have been escorted to the Ball by Mr. Davies, but was reported to have been seen with other young men in the night," Dumbledore left the rest of that situation to the students imagination. "Likewise Mr. Potter may have arrived and danced with Miss Patil during the ceremony, but it was seen that after it he spent the majority of the night with you."

"Oh this is terrible for Harry." Ron thought out loud.

"What that he has to save you?" Hermione snorted.

"Well, think of it! Krum comes up with you," Saying this sentence did not leave a very nice taste in Ron's mouth, "Diggory comes up with his girlfriend, Fleur comes out with her sister, and Harry comes up with me! What kind of image you think that's going to give the audience?" Ron then muttered, "Hermione, they're going to think were a couple of poofs!" (Unnoticed to the children the transfigurations teacher gave a pointed look at the head master).

"Ron! Don't be so offensive!"

"What's it mater? It's not like there's one in here, I'm the only bloke remember!"

"Ron you're over reacting, nobody's going to think anything of Harry saving you. You're best friends; it'd be exactly the same if I were Harry's hostage."

"That's another thing! We're both Harry's friend what if he thinks to save you instead of me?!"

"Ron that's preposterous." Hermione countered simply.

"What's preposterous about it you said yourself we're equals as Harry's friends."

"Well because Viktor will be saving me."

"OH!" Ron scoffed in hysterical disbelief, "So now Krum's automatically beating Harry to you?"

"That's not what I meant! I was trying to say when Harry sees his choices, he's smart enough to see, through the process of elimination, that you're his only possible hostage."

"Well, what if he thinks I'm for someone else?"

"Oh my goodness," Hermione was beginning to feel a head ache, "which of the other champions could Harry think you belong to? Fleur?"

"Well, I don't know…I did ask her to the ball," Ron defended sheepishly.

"Yes, and she said no."

"Oh! You are zee cute leetle red-ed!" Fleur's younger counterpart realized with a giggle.

"See Cute!" Ron bragged to Hermione.

"Little redhead." Hermione completed the title.

"Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger!" McGonagall decided at last to end this quarrel, "Merpeople are known to be rather impatient creatures, I think it best you continue this discussion later."

"I agree, professor," Dumbledore entered the conversation again, "Now all of you just relax and before you know it you'll wake up in the lake!" Dumbledore finished cheerily and quietly whispered the incantation that made Ron's eyes drupe uncontrollably into sleep.


End file.
